Reflecting pool

It was night and the moon was at its zenith. I took a stroll along the mirror of water and gaze at the reflection of the moon.

I believed I was here before a long time ago. A profound sense of loss, and security that was no longer there. I have to live each day with my heart in my mouth, feeling useless and unable to do anything.

I can say I hate my life but what would it have meant to the people who nurtured me through all these years. I would have let them down. Yet my heart is heavy and I cannot speak, once again because somethings just can't be said.

If God above is still looking down on me, will you please grant me happiness in my days. That at night my heart can rest its burden, and my eyes no longer tear. Let me forget all those things in the past, for they weigh too heavily for me to walk.

I feel like all hope is lost when I lost you. But my tired body drags me on each day. A relentless heart a relentless mind, to carry my soul through it all. What have I become, the question as each dawn approaches.

My youth is fading, never to return. I feel sick within, but must be strong without.
Read my emotions if you can, know me if you will, cause all I'm longing for now is someone who will reach into the deepest part of me.

The answer I'm searching for, is still as elusive as ever.

Help me God, help me.

* I found out what an ass I was today. I'm a selfish, jealous moron. I need to forget it all.