Too much of too little

Why do I have to keep going when I really can't take it anymore?
Why do I have to have my patience tested over and over?
Why do I have to be the one who takes on responsibility when no one else wants it?
Why do I have to stay true to the course when the rest has fallen away?
Why must I be the one who ultimately have to rally everyone?
Why must I always be the one who have to cry and shout and get everything done?
Why must I be faithful when my heart is burdened with lies?
Why must I be strong for them?

I need someone

who understands
who is there
who goes through the same things

I need a soulmate

who I can relate to
who I can communicate with
who I can express myself to

I need a kindred spirit

who is not there for his/her own gains
who does not make a demand on me I don't make myself
who is able to endure my trying character

The last time I had one was years ago. We went through all the joy and pain, the seperation and hardship, the long and endless journey. It was good, but all friends come with the seasons. I'm waiting for the new ones to come along, people whom God has place into my life, people whom I can be who I really am.