make or break

listen to your heart. what is it telling you?

I never thought I would feel this way again. The bitter taste haunting me yet again. Haven't I already gotten rid of it? Or so I thought, yet here it is, definitely on the bud of my tongue. While others enjoy the sweet joy of finding their one, I'm left here wondering what just happened? Could it be me after all, too weak to let you slip, too proud to let you know.

Everything I felt I have written down in the annals of our love. If only you had been more mindful of its existence, the very one you help to create. For fear had bound my tongue, lest I let it slip. But the more I try to hide, the more I give away.

I do not want to do anything with regards to a partition of feelings.I think I have stab myself once too often, that I no longer know sorrow publicly. The gnash still deep in my heart I have set out for L. L being the thing I desired from the ones I know.

It use to be in the past when I lay in my bed and listen to the music of my heart and youth, I would wonder openly what in the world L meant. I thought I knew, to give one's heart and soul to another. But as I grew I began to learn more. I do not just want to give, I want to receive as well. And so I gave and gave, hoping to at least get some back. At first it appears to be working, and then I was dealt the crushing blow. I was not wanted. I was not going to receive any. So I cut out all the feelings related and hope for the best. Subsequently I not only made a mistake, but continued doing so.

That very day I met you, my heart floundered. I though, my, what a lovely soul. One who is intelligent and soulful. I thought I could open up again, though I could give just as I will receive. Alas, it was not to be, and I end up having to nurse the broken and ill member of my body, without the knowledge of what to do next, so sure had I been before, but now lost in the abundant ocean of brokeness. I ended up where I begin, listening to the music that comes through to my heart, and I wonder what Love mean.

Maybe one day I will get it.